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Cayoota
Littel Sweet Unmeini
Littel Sweet Unmeini
Cayoota


Female
Number of posts : 36
Age : 37
Registration date : 2007-01-02

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PostSubject: + i said ... +   + i said ... + Icon_minitimeTue Jan 02, 2007 12:40 pm

hello ppl ,

this is a small poem , hope u like it , plz dont copy with out preimssion :<_<:

[
I said I love you
He said it too
But before I knew it
He said “I cant be with you”
I sat in my bed crying
I felt like I was dying
It made me so sad
It hurt me so bad
He ripped it apart
My tiny weak heart
I just wish he could see
What its exactly like for me


Cayoota
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Baka-Monkey
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Baka-Monkey


Female
Number of posts : 112
Age : 36
Registration date : 2007-01-01

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PostSubject: Re: + i said ... +   + i said ... + Icon_minitimeTue Jan 02, 2007 3:41 pm

+ i said ... + A068 amazing !!

i think i should open section for poems n stuff

Great JoB dear !!

Keep it up n thanx for sharing
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unmeini
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unmeini


Female
Number of posts : 57
Age : 37
Registration date : 2006-12-30

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PostSubject: Re: + i said ... +   + i said ... + Icon_minitimeTue Jan 02, 2007 3:52 pm

رووووووووووعه + i said ... + B-l-t_20

يا خطيره انتي + i said ... + Jai_bang

بسرقه و بقول اني سرقته منج lol!
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Cayoota
Littel Sweet Unmeini
Littel Sweet Unmeini
Cayoota


Female
Number of posts : 36
Age : 37
Registration date : 2007-01-02

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PostSubject: Re: + i said ... +   + i said ... + Icon_minitimeTue Jan 09, 2007 9:58 am

hehehe thanx ppl for passing


Unmeini kel 3ashannnn 3yooonich fdatich + i said ... + Golfmonr + i said ... + Golfmonr
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unmeini
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unmeini


Female
Number of posts : 57
Age : 37
Registration date : 2006-12-30

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PostSubject: Re: + i said ... +   + i said ... + Icon_minitimeTue Jan 09, 2007 2:15 pm

+ i said ... + 031 thankyooooooooos
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oni
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oni


Female
Number of posts : 62
Age : 36
Registration date : 2007-01-02

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PostSubject: Re: + i said ... +   + i said ... + Icon_minitimeTue Jan 09, 2007 2:48 pm

i loved ur poem its neat and simple and touching ^^
but there was somthing wrong with it
when i get to the part where it says HE ripped apart
the length is just not the same as the rest .. i stop !

hope i didnt critic u in a bad way ><
gomen
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unmeini
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unmeini


Female
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PostSubject: Re: + i said ... +   + i said ... + Icon_minitimeTue Jan 09, 2007 5:45 pm

+ i said ... + 080 waaah oni ..u know poem stuff ..

+ i said ... + 077 so coooooooooooL
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oni
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oni


Female
Number of posts : 62
Age : 36
Registration date : 2007-01-02

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PostSubject: Re: + i said ... +   + i said ... + Icon_minitimeTue Jan 09, 2007 7:01 pm

naah Razz u can say that it runes in the family

ooh just an advice
whenever you write something keep on reading it over and over
untill ur able to sing it

if the rhythm is shakable then u need to do something about it

life is a journey of learning ^^
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Baka-Monkey
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Baka-Monkey


Female
Number of posts : 112
Age : 36
Registration date : 2007-01-01

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PostSubject: Re: + i said ... +   + i said ... + Icon_minitimeWed Jan 10, 2007 5:38 pm

umm i jus noticed it !

maybe she forgot to put "it"

he ripped it apart!

cayoota check it again maybe u forgot to put the IT
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oni
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oni


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PostSubject: Re: + i said ... +   + i said ... + Icon_minitimeThu Jan 11, 2007 5:47 am

yes mashallah monkey your a natural writer Razz
if she writes IT when they first read it
the rhythm will flow AND it will add mystery to the line as in what the IT what did he rip Wink
perfecto monkeko ~
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Baka-Monkey
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Baka-Monkey


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PostSubject: Re: + i said ... +   + i said ... + Icon_minitimeThu Jan 11, 2007 5:36 pm

LooL

maybe wn i read it i didn't feel there was an IT missing

it's OK ... i'll edit it for Her

Cayoota plz check ur stuff LooL
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Cayoota
Littel Sweet Unmeini
Littel Sweet Unmeini
Cayoota


Female
Number of posts : 36
Age : 37
Registration date : 2007-01-02

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PostSubject: Re: + i said ... +   + i said ... + Icon_minitimeSun Jan 14, 2007 9:12 am

loooooooooooool thanx guys

mashallah 3aleeekom lajnat 7okaaam hehehehe


ya i guess i was forgettin an IT hehehe

and about the lenght, its not EXACTLY a poem ,, its a 5a6ra , plus in ENGLISH mashay Length thingie like arabic lol thats what i heard
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Baka-Monkey
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Baka-Monkey


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PostSubject: Re: + i said ... +   + i said ... + Icon_minitimeSun Jan 14, 2007 2:07 pm

No the poem is perfect !

simple n easy to remember
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