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Cayoota
Littel Sweet Unmeini
Number of posts : 36
Age : 37
Registration date : 2007-01-02
|  Subject: + i said ... +  Tue Jan 02, 2007 12:40 pm | |
| hello ppl , this is a small poem , hope u like it , plz dont copy with out preimssion :<_<: [I said I love you
He said it too
But before I knew it
He said “I cant be with you”
I sat in my bed crying
I felt like I was dying
It made me so sad
It hurt me so bad
He ripped it apart
My tiny weak heart
I just wish he could see
What its exactly like for me
Cayoota | |
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Baka-Monkey
[ Admin }--+
Number of posts : 112
Age : 36
Registration date : 2007-01-01
| | Subject: Re: + i said ... + Tue Jan 02, 2007 3:41 pm | |
|  amazing !! i think i should open section for poems n stuff Great JoB dear !! Keep it up n thanx for sharing | |
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unmeini
[ Admin }--+
Number of posts : 57
Age : 37
Registration date : 2006-12-30
| | Subject: Re: + i said ... + Tue Jan 02, 2007 3:52 pm | |
| رووووووووووعه  يا خطيره انتي  بسرقه و بقول اني سرقته منج  | |
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Cayoota
Littel Sweet Unmeini
Number of posts : 36
Age : 37
Registration date : 2007-01-02
| | Subject: Re: + i said ... + Tue Jan 09, 2007 9:58 am | |
| hehehe thanx ppl for passing Unmeini kel 3ashannnn 3yooonich fdatich  | |
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unmeini
[ Admin }--+
Number of posts : 57
Age : 37
Registration date : 2006-12-30
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oni
[ Mod }--+
Number of posts : 62
Age : 36
Registration date : 2007-01-02
| | Subject: Re: + i said ... + Tue Jan 09, 2007 2:48 pm | |
| i loved ur poem its neat and simple and touching ^^
but there was somthing wrong with it
when i get to the part where it says HE ripped apart
the length is just not the same as the rest .. i stop !
hope i didnt critic u in a bad way ><
gomen | |
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unmeini
[ Admin }--+
Number of posts : 57
Age : 37
Registration date : 2006-12-30
| | Subject: Re: + i said ... + Tue Jan 09, 2007 5:45 pm | |
|  waaah oni ..u know poem stuff ..  so coooooooooooL | |
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oni
[ Mod }--+
Number of posts : 62
Age : 36
Registration date : 2007-01-02
| | Subject: Re: + i said ... + Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:01 pm | |
| naah  u can say that it runes in the family ooh just an advice whenever you write something keep on reading it over and over untill ur able to sing it if the rhythm is shakable then u need to do something about it life is a journey of learning ^^ | |
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Baka-Monkey
[ Admin }--+
Number of posts : 112
Age : 36
Registration date : 2007-01-01
| | Subject: Re: + i said ... + Wed Jan 10, 2007 5:38 pm | |
| umm i jus noticed it !
maybe she forgot to put "it"
he ripped it apart!
cayoota check it again maybe u forgot to put the IT | |
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oni
[ Mod }--+
Number of posts : 62
Age : 36
Registration date : 2007-01-02
| | Subject: Re: + i said ... + Thu Jan 11, 2007 5:47 am | |
| yes mashallah monkey your a natural writer if she writes IT when they first read it the rhythm will flow AND it will add mystery to the line as in what the IT what did he rip  perfecto monkeko ~ | |
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Baka-Monkey
[ Admin }--+
Number of posts : 112
Age : 36
Registration date : 2007-01-01
| | Subject: Re: + i said ... + Thu Jan 11, 2007 5:36 pm | |
| LooL
maybe wn i read it i didn't feel there was an IT missing
it's OK ... i'll edit it for Her
Cayoota plz check ur stuff LooL | |
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Cayoota
Littel Sweet Unmeini
Number of posts : 36
Age : 37
Registration date : 2007-01-02
| | Subject: Re: + i said ... + Sun Jan 14, 2007 9:12 am | |
| loooooooooooool thanx guys
mashallah 3aleeekom lajnat 7okaaam hehehehe
ya i guess i was forgettin an IT hehehe
and about the lenght, its not EXACTLY a poem ,, its a 5a6ra , plus in ENGLISH mashay Length thingie like arabic lol thats what i heard | |
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Baka-Monkey
[ Admin }--+
Number of posts : 112
Age : 36
Registration date : 2007-01-01
| | Subject: Re: + i said ... + Sun Jan 14, 2007 2:07 pm | |
| No the poem is perfect !
simple n easy to remember | |
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